i'm sorry saul williams that i can't hear your voice in your words "said the shotgun to the head" because funnily enough i feel like there is a love here in embracing cold steel between my teeth every kiss an avalanche every stone a mote of love sending a letter to no one i'll beg in front of your infinite glory and polish home's steps with my tongue search me for your prey and let me hold your trigger in my spindly hands let me die, now bouts of forgiveness awash with a putrid veneer of gasping falsehoods i can barely breathe, i suppose with my throat blown out and the world is so perfect and the worlds within you seek love and the worlds within you are love its so joyful, is it not? a ride to nihility, charge only in the blink of an eye. there are too many too many things in the sky angels breathe down my neck begging for you to tear gashes through my brain stem and grab and rip each feather out from my rotting wings because how else can you make a flower oh how i love your laugh my vision can't hold on looking at myself anymore fret not, the notes will come to you naturally sing a song with me our voices keening out into the moonlight echo, rolling, descent, lift hand of a noble ghost is tainted with my blood and leave me there, now, forever in all the truths visible in words of the wind the only thing fitting to wish my death was me and the speech was all so garbled with a barrel down my throat that finally, god you didn't have to hear me speak. once again, the world is so perfect and everything that you seek you will find. just please don't look for me